REALLY BITTER TUMBLR ENTRY TIME.
Okay, I know I posted this last year, but I just want to acknowledge this is what I consider to be the end of Drop of Fuel. It just works, I like the layout, and it nicely represent what I’m feeling about everything and why I ended the comic. I basically poured about three years into it? And although I took breaks here and there, and it died just to be resurrected again, I’ve seen a lot of projects do even less updates, and still get held in higher regard.
Ah yes, to the bitter part! I am not bitter about not being a “famous comic artist”. Not mainly bitter, anyways. This wasn’t even my plan. The comic was a fun little side project that I HOPED would help me in the long term, showing what I’m capable of writing and project-wise. What I am bitter about is, when preparing to leave college I asked, REPEATEDLY, if what I have learned would help me in the job market. “Yes! Of course! Everyone wants a smart, varied individual! Writing is the most important part!” No. It’s not. Having an “in” is the most important part. Being varied makes you “unfocused”. The comic makes it look like whatever I apply for isn’t my “real” passion. Basically my profile gives employers every excuse in the book so they don’t feel bad about passing over me for someone who’s been doing the same thing for ten years.
And I’m not bitter about that. If you’ve been doing this for awhile, and have great talent, by all means you deserve whatever you can get. I’m upset about that after six months of job searching, I picked up a job in retail to help pay back my loans, and in a fit of panic I emailed the one professor I trusted most, asking what I should be doing. And their reply was basically “I don’t know. But don’t get discouraged!”
Look I know you’re drowning in an ocean, but there’s gotta be land somewhere, right?
Hell, every job interview I go to is “I know this is your dream job”. NO, IT’S NOT. Editing pictures, or filming commercials isn’t my “dream job”. It’s SUPPOSED to be step one! But I can’t even find a step one. So I keep these dumbass retail jobs to pay my bills, but of COURSE that doesn’t look “responsible”. So it’s another excuse to not hire me. “Oh, she’s not working in her field, can’t have her.” AWESOME. GOOD JOB. GREAT LOGICAL LOOP THERE.
There is hope though. Since quitting the comic, I think my skills in drawing have improved. Probably because I’m not forcing myself to finish something in a two-hour time frame. And there was an example of a wake-up call for me, but I don’t feel like writing about it now. Too mushy.
TL;DR So yeah, comics dead. I appreciate all of you that read it, and I am looking for a new project to throw myself into, but I might be staying away from auto-bio from now on. You’ve all made it very fun, and I appreciate every last comment and mention. Those of you who read it are the best.